Realistic Dialogue: Tips for Authentic Conversations in Your Writing

realistic dialogue
by David Harris // September 5  

When characters speak in a story, their dialogue can make or break a reader’s immersion. Realistic dialogue is crucial for creating relatable and believable characters. However, many writers get it wrong by either overcomplicating their characters’ speech or making it too bland. Balancing authenticity and clarity is the key to creating realistic dialogue.

What is Realistic Dialogue?

Realistic dialogue mimics how people speak in real life while still serving the story’s needs. This aspect requires incorporating nuances like interruptions, slang, filler words, and even pauses. Readers should feel like they are eavesdropping on a genuine conversation, not reading a scripted performance.

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Examples of Realistic vs. Unrealistic Dialogue

To illustrate this distinction, consider these two exchanges:

Unrealistic Dialogue: “Good morning, Jane! How are you today? I must say, I am quite excited about our meeting later.”

Realistic Dialogue: “Hey, Jane! Morning. You ready for that meeting later? I’m kinda pumped.”

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The first example reads like a stilted conversation. The second flows naturally, making the characters relatable.

The Importance of Character Voice

Each character should have a unique voice that reflects their personality, background, and experiences. This individuality adds depth to the narrative.

Exploring Character Voice with Examples

Imagine two characters, Alex and Mary. Both might be discussing their weekend plans, but their dialogue will vary depending on their personalities and backgrounds.

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Alex: “I can’t wait to hit the trail this weekend. The weather’s gonna be perfect for a hike!”

Mary: “I’m more about binge-watching shows in my pajamas. Hiking isn’t really my thing.”

Here, Alex’s enthusiasm shows he’s adventurous, while Mary’s reluctance highlights her more laid-back nature. Each line reveals something more profound about them.

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Utilizing Subtext in Dialogue

Subtext gives depth to realistic dialogue, shaping what gets shared between people. Characters hold back honest opinions, stacking extra meaning inside casual talk.

Subtext in Action

Take a couple discussing a misunderstanding:

Karen: “So, you went to dinner with Lisa last night?”

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Tom: “I needed to discuss the project with her.”

On the surface, Tom’s response seems straightforward, but the underlying tension suggests he might be hiding something. Characters’ true motivations can be woven into their lines, giving readers something to ponder.

The Role of Interruptions and Pauses

In authentic conversations, interruptions and pauses are commonplace. These elements help to create a dynamic and genuine exchange.

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Examples of Interruptions

Sara: “I just think that—”

Mike: “But what about last time? That didn’t end well.”

In this snippet, Mike cuts off Sara, revealing tension and urgency. The interruption can convey drama or add humor, depending on the context.

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The Power of Silence

Silence can be just as powerful as words. A well-placed pause or silence can enhance the emotional weight of a conversation.

Emma: “I can’t believe you did that.”

(Pause)

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Jake: “I didn’t think you’d react this way.”

In this exchange, the pause emphasizes the emotional weight of Emma’s response. This well-placed pause allows the reader to feel the gravity of the situation.

Dialect and Accents

Incorporating dialects or accents can enhance the authenticity of dialogue. Using local vernacular helps to ground characters in their cultural backgrounds.

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Illustrating Dialect

Southern Character: “Y’all better get over here before I eat the whole pie!”

New Yorker: “You coming or what? The pizza’s gonna get cold!”

Such variations not only serve to deepen character traits but also make the setting feel more vibrant than ever.

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Avoiding Common Pitfalls

Here are some tricky areas that writers should avoid:

Overusing Exposition

Expository dialogue fills readers in on backstory, but too much can feel unnatural. Characters shouldn’t spill their life stories during a short coffee chat.

Bad Example: “I remember when we were twelve, and you moved to the other side of town. That was right after your parents divorced!”

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Instead, it should flow like this:

Better Example: “Remember when you moved away? That was rough, man.”

Characters Sounding Alike

When all characters use similar speech patterns, it creates monotony in the story. Each character should have speech that feels distinct.

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Example of Variety:

  • A polished, formal character might say, “I need to reschedule our meeting.”
  • A laid-back character would say, “Can we move our meeting? I’ve got stuff to do.”

Ensure the dialogue reflects different backgrounds and personalities.

Crafting Dialogue Tags

How you tag your dialogue matters. Avoid overusing “said” or being overly dramatic with tags like “exclaimed” or “interrupted.”

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Best Practices for Dialogue Tags

  • Use “said” as the default. It fades into the background.
  • Reserve action beats for when you need to create an emotional or visual cue.

Example:

  • Instead of: “I can’t believe you did that,” she exclaimed excitedly.
  • Use: “I can’t believe you did that,” she said, bouncing in her seat.

Integrating Action into Dialogue

Incorporating actions can help clarify who’s speaking and convey feelings.

Example: “I’m not going,” Maria said, crossing her arms.

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The action reinforces her reluctance without needing additional explanation.

Reading and Analyzing Dialogue

An excellent way to improve dialogue writing is to read widely. Pay attention to how different authors structure conversations.

Recommended Reads for Dialogue Study

  • “The Catcher in the Rye” by J.D. Salinger is famous for its authentic voice and realistic dialogue.
  • Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice” showcases wit and social commentary in her character interactions.

By studying how these authors craft dialogue, writers can learn what works and what doesn’t.

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Writing Exercises to Hone Dialogue Skills

Practicing dialogue writing is crucial for developing this skill. Here are some exercises to consider:

1. Character Interviews

Write a dialogue as an interview between two characters. Focus on how their unique voices will emerge through the conversation.

2. Rewrite a Scene

Choose a well-known scene from a book or movie and rewrite it with a focus on how it could be more realistic.

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3. Daily Conversations

Record snippets of real conversations (with permission) and analyze what makes them engaging. Consider the flow, interruptions, and metaphors used.

4. Conflict Scenarios

Create scenes filled with conflict, emphasizing how dialogue can escalate emotions and tension.

By practicing these exercises, writers can refine their skills and develop more realistic and engaging dialogue.

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Additional Information

Realistic dialogue can enhance your storytelling in unexpected ways. Here are some little-known facts that can elevate your characters’ conversations:

  1. Listen to Real Conversations: Pay attention to how people talk in everyday situations. Notice the interruptions, unfinished thoughts, and overlaps. Realistic dialogue often mirrors life’s chaos, making it feel authentic and relatable.
  2. Use Subtext: Characters often say one thing but mean another. Incorporating subtext adds depth. A simple line can hint at larger emotions or past experiences without explicitly stating them.
  3. Varied Speech Patterns: Everyone has a unique way of speaking. Tailor your characters’ dialogues to reflect their backgrounds, education, and personalities. A formal character will sound different from a laid-back one.
  4. Avoid “On the Nose” Dialogues: Characters don’t always state their emotions directly. Instead of having a character say, “I’m angry,” show it through tone, pacing, and choice of words, allowing readers to infer the emotions.
  5. Incorporate Non-Verbal Cues: Dialogue isn’t just about the words on the page. Include body language, facial expressions, and pauses, which can convey emotions and intentions more powerfully than dialogue itself.
  6. Keep It Brief: People rarely speak in long monologues. Aim for short, snappy exchanges that mimic real-life discussions and maintain the reader’s attention.
  7. Use Regional Dialects Cautiously: If your characters come from different areas, incorporating dialect can enhance authenticity. However, ensure it’s readable and doesn’t distract from the story.
  8. Read It Aloud: Hearing your dialogue can reveal its natural flow (or lack thereof). If it sounds awkward when spoken, it likely needs tweaking.
  9. Mix Up the Beats: To maintain interest, vary the rhythm of your dialogue. Alternating between short and long sentences can create tension and keep the conversation alive.
  10. Reflect Character Development: Dialogue should evolve with your characters. As they grow, their speech should reflect their experiences and changes, making their development more believable.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) Related to Realistic Dialogue

Q. What is realistic dialogue?
A. Realistic dialogue mimics how people actually speak in everyday life. It captures natural speech patterns, including pauses, interruptions, and informal language.

Q. Why is realistic dialogue significant in writing?
A. Realistic dialogue helps readers connect with characters and brings them to life. It adds authenticity and can advance the plot or reveal character traits.

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Q. How can I make my dialogue sound more natural?
A. Listen to actual conversations around you. Note how people speak, including their slang, tone, and interruptions. Incorporate these elements into your writing.

Q. Should I use complete sentences in dialogue?
A. Not always. People often speak in fragments or incomplete thoughts. Use this to give your dialogue a more authentic feel.

Q. How can I show a character’s personality through dialogue?
A. Focus on their word choice, tone, and speech patterns. A character who uses slang may come off as youthful, while a character who speaks formally could appear more serious.

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Q. What role do dialects and accents play in dialogue?
A. Dialects and accents can add depth and authenticity, but require careful use to avoid stereotypes. It’s important to portray them respectfully and accurately.

Q. How can I ensure dialogue flows well between characters?
A. Pay attention to the pacing of the conversation. Use tags like “He said” or “She replied” sparingly and vary them to maintain the dialogue’s rhythm.

Q. Should I include dialogue tags, or can I skip them?
A. While you can skip tags in some instances, they help clarify who is speaking. Use tags occasionally to avoid confusion, especially in lengthy conversations.

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Q. How do I make sure my dialogue serves a purpose?
A. Each line should either further the plot, reveal character, or enhance conflict. If it’s not doing any of these, consider cutting or revising it.

Q. Can I use humor in dialogue?
A. Absolutely! Humor can make dialogue more engaging. Just ensure it fits the character’s personality and the overall tone of the story.

Conclusion

Realistic dialogue is essential for bringing characters to life and making your story relatable. By paying attention to how people talk, using natural speech patterns, and staying true to your characters, you can create conversations that feel genuine. Remember that dialogue is not just about what is said, but also about how it’s delivered. So, be attentive to the nuances of language, and let your characters speak for themselves. With practice, your dialogue will not only flow smoothly but also enhance your overall storytelling.

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About the Author

David Harris is a content writer at Adazing with 20 years of experience navigating the ever-evolving worlds of publishing and technology. Equal parts editor, tech enthusiast, and caffeine connoisseur, he’s spent decades turning big ideas into polished prose. As a former Technical Writer for a cloud-based publishing software company and a Ghostwriter of over 60 books, David’s expertise spans technical precision and creative storytelling. At Adazing, he brings a knack for clarity and a love of the written word to every project—while still searching for the keyboard shortcut that refills his coffee.

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